Never Let Go
by A Lovers Lullabye
Summary: Nick comes to grips with his horrifying past and trys to convince Greg, the one he loves, that he's ready to commit if he can forgive Nick for his past
1. Chapter 1: Love Hurts

Nick slammed his way into his house, fighting back the tears he'd been holding in for two hours. He looked around his house, saw the picture, and lost it. His knees gave out from underneath him. He sagged against the wall as he let his body fall onto the floor. Not able to hold it in any longer, he let the tears fall. He started sobbing, his whole body shaking. Those five words he had never wanted to hear kept screaming in his head.

_I don't love you anymore._

Nick grabbed his head with both of his hands. He tried his hardest to get that voice out of his head, but it didn't work. He'd become too used to that voice, too reliant to the gentleness of it, the love in it. And to never hear it again killed Nick the most. He wrapped his legs in his arms as the days events played through his head again.

_Nick walked into the lab relaxed and ready to work. He opened the door, the familiar smell of the chemicals filling his lungs. He walked to the briefing room to find out his assignment to walk into a room full of solemn faces. A bad feeling hit Nick's stomach as he walked further into the room._

"_What's up guys?"_

_No one would meet Nick's eyes. _Run you idiot! _His instincts kept yelling at him. But his head wanted to know what was going on. Finally, Grissom spoke up._

"_It's about Greg."_

_Nick began to worry frantically. Images of Greg getting hurt or kidnapped went through his mind rapidly._

"_What about Greg?" He asked in a shaky voice. His body began to tremble when Grissom hesitated in telling him the answer._

"_Nick, Greg is moving. He gave me his two weeks notice today."_

_Nicks whole body shut down. He couldn't fell..no he didn't want to feel anything. He couldn't think straight. Without a second thought, he took off to the lab. His heart pounding, he ran as fast as e could He got there just in time. Greg was packing a few of his things. Nick slammed his hand down on the box that Greg was about to move. _

"_Let go Nick."_

_Tears filled his eyes as the pain of his only true love leaving hit him, hard. "Why are you doing this, Greg?"_

"_You know I was offered a better job in New York. It's better pay and shorter, daytime hours. Besides, there's nothing keeping me in Vegas."_

_Nick tried to hide the pain he was feeling. He felt sick to his stomach. He fought the urge to vomit with all his might. "What about me?"_

"_Nick, we've been together for three years, and you still haven't tried to tell anyone. Not even the guys. If I really meant anything to you, you would have told them by now."_

"_Greg, I'm scared. What if they don't except that I'm gay?"_

"_They all know I am, and none of them care. At all."_

"_But what about Warrick? He may get creped out."_

"_Warrick was one of my biggest supporters when I told everyone. Look, Nick, I'm not going to have this conversation with you. I've made up my mind. I'm leaving."_

_The tears finally escaped Nick's eyes, rolling down his cheek. "Greg, this isn't fair…"_

"_I'll tell you what's not fair!" Greg shouted at the top of his lungs, his own tears escaping his eyes, "What's not fair is telling me constantly that you love me and that you want everyone to know, but never following through! I've giving you three fucking years and I'm sick of it! I can't take anymore of it Nick! I love you, but I hate the pain of knowing I can't let anyone else know!" Greg gasped for breath, his whole body trembling in frustration, his voice continuously gaining volume." Do you know how many people have tried to set me up? DO YOU?! And I have to be an ass and tell them that I'm not interested! All because you're too much of a pussy to be honest with your best friends about the person you're supposedly in love with. Well, no more Nick. I'm moving to New York, starting over. Maybe there will be some guy who really loves me there."_

"_What if I told them, right now, right this very second? Would you stay?"_

"_No, Nick it's too late."_

"_But Greg, I love you!"_

"_I'm sorry Nick, but I don't love you anymore."_

Nick was awakened from the memory by his cell ringing loudly in his ear. He grabbed it, hoping it would be Greg. He answered it in high hopes

"Hello?"

"Hey Nick, it's Warrick."

Nick's stomach fell. "Hey man, what's up?" He responded, trying to sound as happy as possible.

"How you doing man? I heard you and Greg fighting."

"Oh really?" Nick's stomach spiraled. "What did you hear?"

"Enough to know you really don't want him to go."

Nick looked at the floor, too afraid of waying the wrong thin. He didn't want to admit to something Warrick didn't hear.

"Why didn't you tell us that you were gay?"

Fresh tears rolled out of Nick's eyes. "I don't know, I was scared. I was stupid. And now I've lost the only person I've ever truly loved forever."

"I don't know about that."

Hope slowly started to rise in Nick's chest. "What do you mean?

"Meet me in the lab in half an hour."

And with that, the line went dead.


	2. Chapter 2: Bathroom Blitz

Greg sat mindlessly in the briefing room. His eyes were focused on the floor, staring endlessly. He didn't realize he wasn't alone until Sara grabbed his shoulder gently. He whipped around.

"Whoa, man, I didn't mean to scare you."

Greg inhaled sharply. He was hoping to be left alone for a while. "Hey, Sarah, what's up?"

Sarah gave him a small smile. "I heard you and Nick fighting,"

Greg's fury began to rise again. "How much did you hear?"

"You need to cut him a break," she said, smiling slightly, "We all figured it out about a year ago. He's had a pretty rough past, so don't be so hard on him."

Greg started to get annoyed. "How many of you heard the fight?"

"Just Warrick and I."

A flood of relief washed over Greg. Sarah had always been Greg's best friend, so he didn't mind her knowing. And he was happy that Warrick found out. "Could you not tell the others?"

"Tell the others what?" Grissom asked as he walked into the room. Catherine was right behind him, and Brass was behind her.

"Tell you guys that the only reason that Greg accepted the new job was because they were paying him more." Sarah said, winking at Greg. Greg shot her a shy smile in return.

Which didn't go unnoticed by Brass. "So, how much more exactly are they offering? I'm sure Grissom wouldn't mind making up the difference. Right Gris?"

Grissom smiled sarcastically. "Hope you have fun in New York Greg"

Greg couldn't help but smile back. "I can see your really gonna miss me, huh boss?"

"Yes Greg, I'm defiantly going to miss you stealing my coffee, your snide comments, and your lack of work ethic."

"Ah, come on, you know you love me."

"Yeah, like a bad tooth ache." The cop chimed in. Brass and Greg had never really gotten along, but then again, no one but Grissom really got along with him.

Greg looked at the faces of his nearest and dearest friends,

And broke down crying.

Nick stared into space. Warrick had somehow convinced him to meet him at the lab, and then had dragged him to their favorite restaurant. But Nick's mind wasn't on where they were or what they had been talking about. The only thing that had been on his mind was Greg.

"So what do you think?" He heard Warrick ask.

"Sounds great." Nick said half-heartedly, not sure what he had agreed to. It wasn't until Warrick pulled out his cell that Nick decided to ask.

"What are you doing?"

Warrick half smiled."Weren't you listening?"

"Sorry man, my mind's somewhere else."

Warrick shook his head teasingly. "Man, what's holding your attention?"

Nick stared passed Warrick's head. Walking into the café was Sarah, Catherine…and Greg. His heart began to beat rapidly. Sweat broke out across his forehead. Warrick took notice that he was staring at something and turned around. He smiled as Sarah and Catherine waved at him.

"Howdy girls." He called before turning back to Nick. His hands were shaking so badly that despite the fact that he was trying to hide it, a blind man could see it. Warrick reached out and gently put a hand on Nicks arm. The sudden contact made him jump.

"Wanna talk about it?" Warrick asked kindly.

Nick inhaled deeply. "We've been together for almost three years now."

"You and Greg?" Warrick asked to clarify.

"Yeah," Nick said weakly, "it was just after I had been found under ground. He came to the hospital every day. After he came by the apartment and would help me get ready for work." The events began to play in Nick's head. Unable to fight it, he let his mind wander to that fateful day.

_Nick tried to get up to find that his side was still killing him_. Damn_, three weeks and it still hadn't healed all the way. Forcing the pain out, he slowly put his hands to his sides and lifted him upper half off the mattress until he was in a sitting position. _Okay,_ he thought to himself, _now the rest of the way_. He was just about to stand when he heard his front door close softly and hurried footsteps coming down the hall. Nick couldn't help but smile as the pointy-haired blonde appeared in his bedroom doorway. _

"_Now, you weren't thinking of trying to get up on your own, were you?" Greg asked, leaning against the doorframe, smiling. _

"_Would I do such a thing?" Nick asked condescendingly. He eyed Greg up and down. The man was thin, but not sickly, with beautiful muscle. His hair was spiked, as always. As nick made his way to Greg's face, he became entranced with his eyes. Greg had such beautiful, big, blue eyes. _

_And they always caught Nick's._

_Greg slowly made his way over to the bed. He gently grabbed one of Nick's shoulders and helped hoist him up. God, the light made Greg's already beautiful face even sweeter. _

_Greg helped Nick into the shower, as he did every day when he came over to help him get ready for work. He rested against the wall of the shower as Greg helped him undress._

"_So, do you need me to get the pants off for you, or can you do that yourself?"_

_Nick just smiled. He wanted so badly to say yes. _

_And for some reason, he thought Greg was thinking the same thing._

Warrick slapped Nick playfully across the face. "Come back to me man."

Nick blushed slightly. "Sorry man, got off track. Now, where was I?" He asked just as the waitress brought their food. _Good,_ he thought, _I wasn't out of it for long_.

Nick glanced up to look at Warrick, and his eyes instantly went to Greg. He, Catherine, and Sarah were a mere two booths away. But something seemed wrong. Greg's eyes were swollen and bloodshot.

Had he been crying?

Nick resisted the urge to go over and see what was wrong. A question suddenly came to mind. Nick turned to Warrick, a look of concern on his face,

"How many of you guys heard me and Greg fighting?"

Warrick looked down at the table. He started playing with his hands.

"Warrick?'"

"Just me and Sarah actually heard you fighting, but Sarah told Grissom. And judging by the way Cath is acting, I'm pretty sure she knows."

Nick let out a long sigh. "Damn it."

Warrick extended a comforting arm. "It's okay buddy. They're all just waiting on you to tell them."

"But what if they don't accept me?"

Warrick lifted an eyebrow. "We all accepted Greggo. Why wouldn't they accept you?"

"I don't know." Nick responded weakly. He watched Greg get up from his booth and walk into the bathroom. Then he turned to Warrick. "Excuse me for a sec." He got up from the table without waiting for a response and all but ran into the bathroom after Greg.

Nick ran in just as Greg had went into a stall. He began to pace, waiting for Greg to come out. God, he felt like a stalker. But this was the only way he figured he could get Greg to talk to him. His stomach began as he heard the toilet flush and the stall door unlock. Greg came out and looked at Nick.

"What, have you resorted to stalking?" Greg asked in a flat voice.

Nick couldn't bring himself to look at Greg. "Would you have talked to me any other way?" When Greg didn't answer, Nick forced himself to look at Greg. As he stared into his eyes, he looked for an ounce of the old Greg in those eyes.

All he found was a pair of lifeless blue eyes staring back at him.

And that broke his heart.

Greg tried to move past Nick to exit the bathroom, but Nick blocked him with his arm. Greg tried to push him out of the way, but Nick was bigger.

"Move." Greg grunted, trying to moveNick. Bug he just grabbed Greg by the shoulders and slammed him against the wall. A lookof shock came over Greg.

"Now, lets try to alk this out." Nick said, frustrated.

"Fuck you." Greg spat.

"Maybe later. Look, I don't know what I did to make you want to leave, but it had to be more than not telling anyone. Now, why don't you tell me why your being an ass?"

Greg just gave Nick a hard look. His eyes seemed to be filling up with tears, but no emotion showed on his face.

Nick let out a heavy sigh. "Fine." He said in defreat. He moved his arm from the wall so Greg could move. Greg instantly moved towards the door. He pushed it open slightly, turned around, and said "I'll be by the apartment later to get some of my cloths."

"I'll be sure not to be there." Nick responded.

Greg just nodded as he left the bathroom.

Weak in the knees, Nick leaned against the wall and slid down. He let only a few tears fall. He felt a sudden emptiness and realized he wasn't sad, or angry, or resentful. He was numb.


	3. Chapter 3: And Truth Be Told I Miss You

Warrick sat at the table, staring at the bathroom door. He knew that Nick was stubborn, but he never considered his best friend to be stupid.

_But what's taking him so long?_ He thought to himself.

Just then, he spotted Greg coming out of the bathroom, his brown eyes looking empty. Warrick watched him as he walked back to the table with Catherine and Sarah.

Big mistake.

Warrick was generally worried about his two best friends, but the second his eyes landed on the table, his worry shifted to Catherine. They hadn't talked much since their last date.

Which didn't end well.

Warrick shook his head. _ No, there will be more time to worry about me. Nick and Greg need me now._

Warrick looked at his watch. Nick had left almost ten minutes ago.

Something was wrong.

Just as Warrick was about to get up, he saw Nick slowly making his way from the bathroom. He looked so helpless and distant.

Warrick smiled as his best friend came back to the table. Nick looked down, staring at the table intently. Warrick smiled slightly.

"You okay, man?" Warrick asked after a few tense minutes of silence. Nick nodded solemnly.

Warrick shook his head as he looked back over at Greg. He was surprised to see that Greg was laughing and smiling. Warrick sighed, looking back at his pathetic friend.

"You know," Nick started, making Warrick snap his head in Nick's direction, "He always wid he would love me no matter what…..Maybe I should have just been honest with him."

Warrick sighed. "Honest about what, man?"

Nock cringed. "Forget it man." He said, standing. "I gotta get back to the apartment. I'll see you at work tomorrow, okay?"

Warrick nodded, "Sure man. Do me a favor. Call me when you get home so I know your safe, okay?"

Nick nodded, walking towards the door. He passed by Greg, Sarah and Catherine solemnly.

Sarah smiled sweetly. "See you at work, Nick."

He nodded, not meeting Greg's eyes as he walked out the door.

Greg watched as Nick walked slowly out the door. He looked down at the table, his hands shaking slightly. He licked his lips, trying to get a hold of himself. He looked from Sarah to Catherine, hoping they wouldn't notice.

He was never that lucky.

Sarah smiled, taking Greg's hand in hers. Her dark eyes seemed to be filled with her own pain.

"Go after him." She whispered. "You know you love him, and you know you don't want to leave. Don't do this to him. Or yourself."

Greg thought for a long moment, and then shook his head. "I can't Sarah. I waited three years for him to get the nerves to tell you guys. And unless he does it before I get on that plane Tuesday, then I'm gone." He looked down at his watch, and then sighed. "I gotta go. I'm going to go get my stuff out of Nick's apartment and stay in a hotel room for a while."

"Oh, you don't need to do that." Warrick said, walking up to the table. He slid in next to Catherine, smiling sweetly at Sarah. "Why not come stay with me?"

"Won't that cause problems with you and Nick?" Greg asked his voice slightly icy.

"So what?" Warrick shrugged. "He'll get over it."

Greg nodded, slightly out of options. "Okay, I'll be over in a few hours. I need to go get some things. Now, if you'll excuse me." He said getting up from the table and throwing a few bucks down/

"Wait, Greg!" He heard Sarah call after him.

But he just left

Nick walked into the quite apartment slowly, his eyes stinging with the tears he had been fighting back since Greg had entered the café. He walked into their old bedroom, the bed neatly made. He walked over, sitting on the edge. He rubbed his hands on his face, feeling the pricks of the new hairs coming in.

Greg always liked it when he had a few new hairs coming in.

Nick sighed, looking on the night stand. There, there was a picture of him and Greg when they had their one year anniversary. They had gone to Niagara Falls. In the picture, Nick was smiling huge, and Greg was kissing him on the check. Greg was wearing the necklace he had given him. It was a golden cross with a ruby in the center.

Rubies were Greg's birthstone.

Two tears slowly leaked out of Nick's eyes and splattered against the picture.

"It was a great time, wasn't it?"

Nicks head shot up. When he saw who was talking to him, his heart jumped.

There was Greg, leaning against the door frame. His hair was spikes up, as usual. He was wearing a white t-shirt that he hadn't been wearing in the café, a pair of faded blue jeans…

….and the cross.

"I thought that broke last month when we had gone to the fair." Nick said, smiling slightly.

"I had it sent to be fixed." Greg replied, a smile of his own forming. "It was going to be a surprise."

"You being here is a surprise." Nick replied, looking down at the floor. He heard Greg walking next to him and felt it when Greg sat down on the bed.

"I'm sorry it has to end like this, Nick." Greg started, his voice shaking, "but I've been waiting for you to prove that you loved me for three years now. You just kept telling me to wait and I can't do that anymore."

"I know." Nick replied, his voice cracking too. "Just, tell me this. Did you mean it?"

"Mean what?" Greg asked nervously.

"Did you mean it when you said you didn't love me?" Nick asked, looking into Greg's deep brown eyes.

Greg looked him back in the eye, the pain in Nick's eyes almost overbearing and untakable. He looked down at the ground and whispered. "No, I didn't mean it at all."

Nick looked up, tears now staining his face. "The why did you say it?!?"

"Because…I thought it would make this easier on you." Greg said, looking at the floor. "I'm going to New York either way, Nick."

Nick started shaking harder. Without thinking he grabbed Greg's face with both hands and kissed him. Deep and wantingly.

Greg pulled back slightly, trying to catch his breath. "Nick, don't do that. I don't want to cause you more pain."

Nick grabbed Greg's face again, kissing him passionately. This time, instead of pulling back, Greg kissed Nick back, harder. Their tongues danced as he pushed Nick back onto the bed, Nicks hands grabbing at his waist as he laid onto of him.

Nick moaned softly into the kiss as Greg's warm body covered his. Nick's hands shook as he started to take off Greg's t-shirt. Greg moaned, smiling lightly into the kiss as he moved so Nick could take off his shirt.

Nick grunted, finally getting the t-shirt off Greg. Without breaking the kiss, he unbuttoned and took off his own shirt. The feeling of Greg's bare chest against his was simply amazing. Ecstasy racked through his whole body bad enough to make him hurt.

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

Greg groaned, getting up. "I'll answer it. It's probably Sarah." Greg said, walking out of the room.

Just then, something took over Nick. He couldn't just let Greg leave. He ran after him, throwing both men into the shower. He pushed Greg up against the wall, pressing his body tightly against his. He demandingly stripped Greg of the rest of his cloths. Greg looked at him with surprise.

"What are you…." Was all Greg could say before Nick's wanting lips were crashing down on his again. Nick's hands fumbled as he unfastened his own pants, revealing his hard erection. Greg moaned into the kiss again, his hands reaching down between Nick's thighs just to be caught by a hand.

"I don't think so." Nick whispered, smiling evilly. With one fouls sweep, he put Greg against the wall on the shower, chest first. Greg moaned in anticipation, hoping for what was coming next.

Nick smiled with Greg's moan, reaching his hand down between the other man's thighs and grabbing hold of his hard-on. Greg moaned, bucking his hips back. Nick smiled, leaning his chest against Greg's back as he began to jerk him harder. He kissed down the other man's neck, gently at first. Then started to bite it ever so slightly, driving Greg up the wall. He pressed the head of his cock against Greg's tight ass, moaning lightly into his ear.

"Want me in?" he whispered, seductively. Greg nodded hurriedly, already approaching an orgasm. Nick smiled, thrusting deep into Greg's tight, waiting ass.

Greg moaned loudly, thrusting back onto Nick's cock with all his might. Nick started thrusting in deeper and harder, his breath becoming unsteady as he approached his own orgasm.

"Shit, Nikki, I'm gonna cum!" Greg shouted at the top of his lungs. Moments later, a warm liquid began to flow onto Nick's hand as Greg began to moan his name over and over again.

Nick couldn't hold back anymore. With one final thrust, he came hard into his lover, moaning Greg's name. After finishing, he let Greg go, falling onto the floor.

Greg looked at him, smiling and breathing hard. "We should go get some sleep." He offered, helping Nick up.

Nick nodded, following his lover. Greg pulled back the covers, laying in bed and motioning for Nick to join him.

Nick laid next to Greg, holding him tightly to him. As he began do drift he whispered. "Promise me you will always love me."

Greg sighed happily. "Always and forever."

Nick wanted to say something more. To beg Greg to stay in Vegaas. To let him know just how in love with him he was. But no more words excaped his mouth. He closed his eyes and fell asleep.


End file.
